More than a Mom

Tonight I had an interesting perspective opened up to me, and I don't even think the person meant to do it on purpose. It woke something in me that I bet almost all moms feel, or go through at one point or another or maybe even all the time. A sense of identity.
   Sounds deep, probably because it is. I was told by someone who will remain nameless and without an identity, in a non malicious way that all I talk about is the baby, things for the baby, and what is going on with the baby or the baby when it is born. My first reaction was to want to slap the person and say "How dare you?" However, instead I listened, and I quietly have been processing it all night so much so that I sit here at 11:30 pm writing about it.
   Being a first time mom is a big deal for me, for someone who was always told I would never be a mom or it would take a miracle, I'm finally receiving that miracle. For me, it's more than being a mom, it's more than raising a child, it's knowing that God loved me and still does love me so much that He is willing to give me the one thing in my life I thought I would always be lacking.... The ability to be a mother.... the ability to be something and someone that I never really thought would be given to me. For me the idea of sleepless nights is welcomed because I'd rather have a noisy night than silence for the rest of my life. Puke, and poopy diapers don't scare me their welcomed because it's better than prim and proper makeup and pretty dresses. Being a mom is the proudest, bestest thing I could ever be, and while I may have other titles, other jobs, other things come in and out of my life besides being a Mimi, being a Mom is probably the best title ever. There's something about constantly making decisions based on someone other than yourself, sacrificing for your child so they can have whatever it is that they need to be what God called them to be, to be able to watch that person grow into who God made them to be, that's probably the best blessing God could ever give anyone.
   As I laid in bed thinking the comment through there was so much to unpack emotionally the hurt of the phrase itself, the accusation that all I have in my life is this child (although I'll admit is rather a big part of my life) and that's all I can talk about, well it hurt. I will admit I talk about my child more than anything in the world, however I talk about this moment in my life because unlike for everyone else, my pregnancy, my carrying a child doesn't go away when I wake up, it doesn't stop all of a sudden and not be in the forefront of my life and mind. Every morning when I wake there's something changing with my body, with the way I dress, eat, carry myself. Every day there is something new I learn about my child and the growing they are going through. Every day I feel this abundant blessing of life within me. So yeah I am going to talk about this child as though it's the only thing in my life, because it's the only thing that is constant from here on out, being a mom is the only thing other than Mimi that I will be forever and ever unending till I take my last breath.
    Something I think no one tells you about being pregnant (married, single, or on your own) is how lonely it can get. Before you know it people stop asking you to do things with them because your pregnant so they assume you wouldn't want to do something like that, or they save you for last because who would want to ask the pregnant woman? Yes, I get tired a little sooner than expected, yes I have to watch what I do physically, but I am not bound to a bed, I haven't lost my loud laugh, and serious sarcasm. I'm still me, I am still who I was only now I have someone to share it with that hopefully will pick up a few things here and there from me.
     One thing is for certain I wouldn't trade this for the world, however I would love to trade the feelings of the world when it comes to pregnant women. We are stronger than you realize, more vulnerable than accepted, and we have deeper feelings and passion than some will ever know.
   So the next time your talking to someone who is pregnant, or your planning something and have someone in your family or friends that are pregnant, include them anyway. Also practice patience with your friend or family member when they want to talk about their soon to be child, and their job as a mom because their trying to share the joy they are experiencing and having with you. That's a mighty thing to think they are turning to you of all the people in their life to share in the joy that they have, and in the amazing beauty of a newborn, a new life coming into the world.
   Lastly, Please don't say to the new mom to be how she will be so excited to get a break from the screaming and sleepless nights, or how she'll be so ready to hand off her baby because it's so stressful. While this may have some truth to it, for some of us women this is the one thing we want to soak in because we were always told we would never have this opportunity, we were told that being a mom was out of the cards so focus on a career and forget the family thing. As for me, I can't wait to be so exhausted I'm living on a tea IV, and holding my breath when I lay down for the first time because my little sweetie finally fell asleep. For me, being a mom is something I look forward to no matter how stressful it will get.