Bundles of Joy

Well I am officially a week overdue, I know crazy! Sitting here on this rainy morning I can't help but look back at this past 9 months and 1 week and observe the amazing blessings, trials, lessons learned, and growth in myself and in my family (physically, mentally and spiritually). They say when you have a baby everything changes, every little to big thing changes and sometimes change can be scary but it also can be a warm welcome to life. Being this is my first pregnancy there was a lot of personal growth and life lessons learned in these past 9 months from learning to bite my tongue, and at the same time having no fear to express myself very openly and candidly (although most would say I never did have a problem doing that).  Below are some of the many things that I learned, loved, and just down right shook my head at.

First let's start with lessons learned because it's always good to impart wisdom.

• Love yourself the way you are in the moment your in: This was hard when I hit the middle pregnancy phase of my normal clothes don't fit but maternity clothes are to baggy and large. I went through a month of just really despising my body and my appearance. My husband was amazing always trying to be encouraging but I was so focused on tearing myself apart that I wasn't listening and instead would bully and be negative to him for trying to be positive, yet he still persisted. Finally one morning while we were rushing to get ready to work he had, had enough and said to be very quietly but firmly "Stop. Stop talking about yourself like that right now. You do not look ridiculous, your beautiful." I looked in the bathroom mirror as he said that and realized man the enemy is very sneaky. 
• Be open and honest about your feelings and your needs: This one I thought I had down by the time I was pregnant however I soon found I had a lot to learn. I was trying to take on more than I could handle, and wasn't expressing ways for people to help me. Finally my husband (he's very wise at times) expressed to me how he wants to help but he doesn't know how to because I don't tell him what I need clearly. I thought that through and as a teacher I realized, How can I expect someone to do something exactly as I want it done if I am not clear with my words? That lead to a message board with a check list in our entry way (I call it my command center now) and a small weekly calendar on the fridge with household things that need done broken down by day. (This is something I hope to continue after our little one is born because it works extremely well. My husband sees the checklist and picks items to do and crosses them off when they are done, and I do the same so as to communicate chores without it being a chore). 
• Silence is sometimes golden: In my pregnancy and especially at the beginning and the end I had and still do have many people who feel the need to "Impart wisdom" without being asked. Some helpful, most hurtful. As much as my raging pregnant mind wanted to respond I chose to not respond. Giving the terrible noise a wall of silence for response. Some people caught the hint, others still are learning. Just trust your instincts, trust the wisdom God has blessed you with and if they really get on your nerves GIVE THEM TO JESUS! (My family laughs at that, because there have been many times in the car I have "Gave someone to Jesus" to handle the not so nice traffic behavior)

Things I LOVED: 

• WATER: I know this sounds ridiculous but the more water you drink the happier you'll be, yes you'll pee like crazy but trust me the benefits of drinking water are AMAZING during pregnancy. Not only did it help in keeping my body at the weight it was for the most part (as of now I have only gained 2 lbs of fat, an the rest is all baby) but it will keep you energized better than any soda, coffee or tea. (and I am coffee girl so trust me I know how shocking that sounds). 
• The community of mom support: Not to long after getting pregnant I was referenced to a christian mommy group, and then a little further along was introduced to an Alma Mater Mommy group from my college. BOY IS THAT A BLESSING!!! Sometimes when your body is changing and it's your first time going through it you feel like a crazy person and rather than call the doctor over every little thing, it was nice to talk to lovely encouraging mothers who were in the same boat or who had been in the same boat. Get involved online or in person with a mommy group (not the mommy shaming, but the uplifting and encouraging kind). Not only will this help during the pregnancy so you don't feel so alone, it will help with fighting against postpartum to have that encouragement at your disposal. 
• Yoga Ball: If your pregnant and currently don't own one, GET ONE. Not only was this a great help in back pains, but it was also very relaxing in the evenings to do some light maternity stretches (and will help when dealing with braxton hicks contractions) I seriously don't know what I would do without my yoga ball. 
• My Husband: Last but CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, I love my husband, pregnancy is not easy especially for the one that is pregnant, but it's also not easy for your spouse. Be understanding of that and try to acknowledge that in the back of you mind when his breathing, snoring or the way he chews is irritating you. (yeah you'll have those moments). It's not easy for your spouse to see you going through so much and not being able to really do a blessed thing to help other than be patient and encouraging and maybe every now and again massage your back. Let him love you, and let him help in as many ways as he can. Believe it or not he wants to help, remember this is his baby too. 

Things that made me shake my head: 

• Opinionated people: This one I was forewarned about but thought it was over exaggerated, however in social media day and age I can promise you it's not. I'd like to say you won't have people trying to tell you the mom, the one carrying the child, what is best however there will be and 9 times out of 10 it's going to be people who never otherwise talked to you, or even care to talk to you. They just want to be heard and your to listen. As I stated above best response is silence. I think my favorite incidents with this is when I would have a slightly off day and maybe shouldn't have been so honest on social media, to be responded with all the things I am "not doing enough of" I'm 9 months pregnant, I'm going to have off days and I deserve to put my feet up every now and again, because let's be honest when this little one comes they are going to be running the floor. 
• Pregnant Shaming: I hated seeing this, and I think because I am pregnant myself I picked up on it a lot faster. I never realized till being pregnant myself how much shaming there is for women who are pregnant whether it be about weight, birth plans (you may not like theirs but birth plans are meant to be specific to that person and what works for them), to the clothes they wore and the things they eat. It is no one's job to shame a pregnant woman! If she's big leave her alone (Trust me she knows she's big and she's probably struggling with that every day). 

Well now you have it, an insight to the many things in pregnancy that I have learned, loved and disliked. My hope is within a small amount of time my next post will be of the new light and blessing of motherhood. Remember pregnancy isn't forever, and there are many people who wish they had the blessing you have so be appreciative as hard as it may be on those days your feet are the size of baseballs, and your irritation is through the roof, that there is someone somewhere struggling to handle the heartache of not getting to experience what your experiencing. (If your one of those people I am praying for you because until now I was in those shoes and they are not fun).