Where two or more are gathered.

I normally don't talk about disagreements on here, I keep this an uplifting blog, but if I am going to write to you all about my life and about my marriage and give personal advice, then I also need to honest on the hard stuff to. As many have read on here by now, I am a christian, and I whole heartedly strive to do everything that honors God. One thing that I take very seriously in that aspect is my marriage needs to also be striving to serve God and make sure there is room for Him to be the center of our marriage.

Last night there was a disagreement, nothing crazy, but it was a disagreement and rather than going to bed, going on opposite sides or one of us leaving the room, we talked it out, and I mean all of it out. We worked it all out till 1 a.m. Is that crazy? No. Why not wait till the morning? Because when you go to bed with that on your head and seeping into your heart you cause a wall to begin it's building. Then you get up in the morning both extremely angry that you didn't get a peaceful night's sleep and you go about your morning with that anger on your heart so another brick get's added, by the time the conversation is able to happen the bricks have reached a new high.

One thing that my husband and I were told when we got married was to "Always pray every morning and every night together" by his Aunt (shout out aunt marbeth) and so when we got married and got settled in our apartment on 4 chalkboards we wrote our rules to marriage to hang above our bed to keep as a reminder and that was one of them. Below is a list of all of them. You see I don't think its coincidence that in the Bible it is stated "Where TWO or more are gathered I am there." In a marriage there is 2 people. When a couple prays in agreeance there is power and meaning there.

I've had the question posed to me multiple times "Is it really important to get married to someone who is equally yoked?" My answer "Absolutley" and I know some people say 'Well they could get saved from living with me and seeing me and how God is blessing me.' My answer is this, if that is the case from dating you, getting to know you, growing a friendship with you, if they haven't seen God and how amazing He is and accepted the Lord then most likely they aren't going to or at least they won't because of watching you. When you marry someone who doesn't carry the faith you have, who doesn't believe in the power of prayer your losing the reason to marriage. Marriage is a promise you make to serve God all the days of your life, its a merging of not just two people but two callings to coincide together. When things get tough and your praying for ultimate healing or for God's hand in a situation you need your spouse to be able to come along side you in agreeance and pray with you. You don't want someone looking at you and saying "Why are you praying? There is no God" or "Keep your God to yourself."

I've listened to couples who are married, who are simply dating, who are living together and one being a christian and one not, and its very alarming to watch. Your spouse is to keep you accountable, if your spouse doesn't hold to your faith, to your standards of living, to your beliefs then already your spouse has failed one of their greater tasks.

I could go on typing about this forever but I know by now I probably some readers, but if your still reading know this is something I pray about consistently and if your a prayer warrior I ask you pray it to. Marriage is a sacred thing and lately marriage has been thrown down in the mud and it's meaning has been devalued. Let's pray that God intercedes in these marriages and we see a fruitful tree of marriage again instead of a dry cracked dessert of unbelievers.

Btw: The five rules we live by

1. Never go to bed angry
2. Always pray morning and night together
3. Never yell at each other unless there is a fire
4. Sometimes marriage is a give and take
5. Always kiss me goodnight and good morning

Bringing a Spare Bedroom to life

So earlier in my blog I had blogged about redoing your house one small step at a time and just commit each week to do something to update your home that way it doesn't break the bank and step by step you start to get the house you've always wanted. Well over this past month I have to be honest it came out to be harder than expected with inheriting a teen and homeschooling and accepting a new job, Oh yes I accepted a new job and I love it but that's for another day.

We renovated our spare bedroom about 2 weeks ago which wasn't necessarily top on the priority list but it made it's way to top when we found we had a teen moving in (we couldn't have a teen move into a brown panelled room with small thumb tac holes all over) so we painted added new curtains, some small (and cheap) decor to make it look like the kind of bedrooms teens dream about. My husband being the amazing husband he is painted the weekend I was visiting home, and my mother in law hung the decor where I had left sticky notes to signify while I was gone. When we walked in it was absolutely stunning!!! (pictures below)

Where we got everything:
Bedding: Kohl's twin size set I used 15% off, plus it was already 50% off : $30 total
Curtains: Set of 2 at Christmas Tree Shop: $7.99 total
Curtain rods: 1 Large, and 1 small: Christmas tree shop: $15 total
Lighted Branches: Walmart, 50% off in the christmas decor left over section $4
Vase for Branches: Christmas Tree Shop: $6
Wall Hooks: Kohl's I used 15% off and it was 50% off: $7
Paint: 1 Gallon at Home Depot: $38

Total: $107.99
Why am I sharing this: To prove you can do an amazing room over with the stuff you have and with a little extra cash, when it came to decor we priced and compared to many locations and we also went through some of the decor that we already had sitting around the house to make the room look very fun and more like a home environment. Honestly though you don't have to spend much to make a room over, just a coat of paint can take a room you've dreaded seeing everyday and make it a room you never want to leave!

*** I will be posting our dinning room turned office/homeschool center/ lady cave so keep your eyes peeled.

Mother's Day for the childless

Mother's Day is coming up, all you moms who birthed children that is amazing and you deserve to be celebrated, but there are some ladies who also deserve to be celebrated even though they didn't accomplish what you accomplished. The childless by force. Some women have the heavy heart on Mother's Day of knowing they are unable to have children, or who are going to the ends of the Earth to try and either have a child or adopt a child because they want to experience the joy of being a mother.

Please husbands, boyfriends, family members and yes ladies to, keep in mind this Mother's Day and any other Mother's day that for some its a yearly reminder of something they may never get the chance to experience. Never get the chance to have the embrace of their child, or to receive the love from their child. I say their child because whether we the ones who deal with infertility get to have a child or not we have one we love in our hearts one that we dream of being able to care for and watch grow and guide through life.

Mother's Day has never been a joyous holiday for me or magnitudes of reasons but especially this year its trying, to finally be married and to be on the journey with God and my husband trying to get my body to cooperate to have at least 1 child (although not to sound stingy I would gladly take more than 1). Mother's Day reminds me of the things I may never become, of the things that I may never partake in, and of the things that I wish I was.

If you know someone or are married to someone who struggles with infertility here's some tips on how to help them feel included and celebrated:

1. Tell them Happy Mother's Day, I know you may think that, that may sound insensitive considering but they deserve to feel a part of everything going on
2. Pray for them/Pray with them: Acknowledge their struggle and acknowledge what their heart longs for and pray for them but also pray with them so they can see and feel the community surrounding them. Dealing with Infertility can cause many women to feel alone because they don't know who they can talk to about the struggles they are having
3. Don't use cliches: The worst thing for someone like me who deals with infertility is to hear the usual round of cliches "Just relax it will happen when it's meant to happen." "Maybe your just not meant to be a mom right now" "God knows the desires of your heart" "You must not be praying hard enough" "Your thinking to much about it" All of these are THE WORST responses to hear, Yes God knows my heart, Yes I pray alot about it, Yes I do think about it, but NO YOU DO NOT GET TO SAY THESE THINGS, why? Because until you know the struggles and until you have gone through the heartache of being childless you have no right to
4. Offer Encouragement: Offer a book of encouragement (it doesn't have to be about infertility just a book about healing, strength, God's love is plenty), or offer to meet for coffee or tea after one of their appointments or even before for prayer and peace of mind, for some who have to go to these appointments alone, offer to sit in the waiting room or to drive them to give them that feeling of community and support.
5. Recognize them: This sounds simple and you may already think that you do that, but recognize them and ask them how their dealing with their health, and how their feeling and GENUINELY listen, don't try to compare what they are going through with your friend's friend's sister's aunt, just listen and offer comfort. 

As for the mommy's out there Happy Mother's day you do deserve to be celebrated and you deserve to be spoiled by your loved ones your job is hard and no one can do it but you!