Mother's Day for the childless

Mother's Day is coming up, all you moms who birthed children that is amazing and you deserve to be celebrated, but there are some ladies who also deserve to be celebrated even though they didn't accomplish what you accomplished. The childless by force. Some women have the heavy heart on Mother's Day of knowing they are unable to have children, or who are going to the ends of the Earth to try and either have a child or adopt a child because they want to experience the joy of being a mother.

Please husbands, boyfriends, family members and yes ladies to, keep in mind this Mother's Day and any other Mother's day that for some its a yearly reminder of something they may never get the chance to experience. Never get the chance to have the embrace of their child, or to receive the love from their child. I say their child because whether we the ones who deal with infertility get to have a child or not we have one we love in our hearts one that we dream of being able to care for and watch grow and guide through life.

Mother's Day has never been a joyous holiday for me or magnitudes of reasons but especially this year its trying, to finally be married and to be on the journey with God and my husband trying to get my body to cooperate to have at least 1 child (although not to sound stingy I would gladly take more than 1). Mother's Day reminds me of the things I may never become, of the things that I may never partake in, and of the things that I wish I was.

If you know someone or are married to someone who struggles with infertility here's some tips on how to help them feel included and celebrated:

1. Tell them Happy Mother's Day, I know you may think that, that may sound insensitive considering but they deserve to feel a part of everything going on
2. Pray for them/Pray with them: Acknowledge their struggle and acknowledge what their heart longs for and pray for them but also pray with them so they can see and feel the community surrounding them. Dealing with Infertility can cause many women to feel alone because they don't know who they can talk to about the struggles they are having
3. Don't use cliches: The worst thing for someone like me who deals with infertility is to hear the usual round of cliches "Just relax it will happen when it's meant to happen." "Maybe your just not meant to be a mom right now" "God knows the desires of your heart" "You must not be praying hard enough" "Your thinking to much about it" All of these are THE WORST responses to hear, Yes God knows my heart, Yes I pray alot about it, Yes I do think about it, but NO YOU DO NOT GET TO SAY THESE THINGS, why? Because until you know the struggles and until you have gone through the heartache of being childless you have no right to
4. Offer Encouragement: Offer a book of encouragement (it doesn't have to be about infertility just a book about healing, strength, God's love is plenty), or offer to meet for coffee or tea after one of their appointments or even before for prayer and peace of mind, for some who have to go to these appointments alone, offer to sit in the waiting room or to drive them to give them that feeling of community and support.
5. Recognize them: This sounds simple and you may already think that you do that, but recognize them and ask them how their dealing with their health, and how their feeling and GENUINELY listen, don't try to compare what they are going through with your friend's friend's sister's aunt, just listen and offer comfort. 

As for the mommy's out there Happy Mother's day you do deserve to be celebrated and you deserve to be spoiled by your loved ones your job is hard and no one can do it but you!