Taking care of each other in marriage is a no brainer, or at least that's what we all think. However, sometimes even in a new beginning as newlyweds we forget to take care of each other. When I say take care of each other I just don't mean the normal needs a couple faces, I'm not just talking about cooking or cleaning or working (whomever does it in the marriage). I am talking about each other's marriage itself. Follow me if you will below:
Your marriage is a plant, what are common needs a plant has?
- Water (Kisses, Hugs and all that stuff married couples should be doing)
- Sunlight (Warmth, love attention)
- Soil (A firm grounding to build upon aka Your Faith)
- Pot for the Plant to sit in (A home, not a house...there is a difference)
Taking all these things into consideration, are you and your spouse fulfilling all those needs, so your marriage can grow in new and unexpected ways? It's no secret by now I cling to my faith like a baby clings to their mother or favorite blanket. What does my faith have to say about my marriage and the role I have in it? It tells me many things, Some that stand out to me right now in this moment is Proverbs 31, I know many people who have read it, but let's look at it carefully in a marriage perspective, in a wife perspective: (scripture copy and pasted from Bible Gateway)
31 The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.
2 Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb!
Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!
3 Do not spend your strength[a] on women,
your vigor on those who ruin kings.
Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!
3 Do not spend your strength[a] on women,
your vigor on those who ruin kings.
4 It is not for kings, Lemuel—
it is not for kings to drink wine,
not for rulers to crave beer,
5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed,
and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.
6 Let beer be for those who are perishing,
wine for those who are in anguish!
7 Let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.
it is not for kings to drink wine,
not for rulers to crave beer,
5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed,
and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.
6 Let beer be for those who are perishing,
wine for those who are in anguish!
7 Let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.
8 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
9 Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.
for the rights of all who are destitute.
9 Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
The Break Down of what I am trying to show you:
When we read this scripture we normally hear all about how this woman, this wife, this "ideal wife" that the mother has taught the King about is someone who sacrifices, who does all and anything she can to not only care for her family but her husband and for those who are poor and in need. No where do we read how she is to be vain or how she is supposed to take care of herself first, she even puts her workers before herself. We as wives we need to put our husbands and our families and the people we come into contact with first.
How does this apply to my plant theory? Well its like this If we don't take the time, to love and care and grow in our faith with our husbands and for our husbands, then ultimately we cannot expect our husbands to do the same for us. We should do things cause we want to and because we love to do it without expectation but unfortunately our human side is to look out for ourselves before we look out for each other, or when we do look out for someone we expect something in return whether you realize it or not when you do something nice you expect "thank you" or something nice in return. That's NOT how marriage works. You have to do things for the other person because you love and care for them.
***I know this was a long post, longer than usual, and I know I have been doing this lately but it's important to me to share my faith and not just share it and expect someone to know what I am talking about (hence the entire scripture being put in here).
************My point is this, take care of your significant other, take care of the ones you love, and as a married couple take care of your marriage, help it grow, help it reach the sky and go beyond it. Your marriage can't become the romantic ideas of marriage on its own like a magic fairy comes down and blesses you with it, you both are going to have to let go of comfortable and put on the working boots and get in the mud in order to achieve the romantic marriage you guys so hope and dream to have.
